After Emeline was born, I clapped my hands together and felt complete. We had each other, the girls had each other...we all had each other...done, right?
Then I watched the way the girls have grown together, their giggles down the hall, the mischief they get into because they have each other as partners in crime. Slowly, I started hearing another giggle, and seeing another smiling face at our table (which is ironic, because we have a table with four chairs) begging for another drink, or a napkin, or something else that requires me to hop out of my seat just before my rear ever hits it in the first place.
I started packing away Emeline's clothes as she outgrew them. Many were donated to new families with babies in need. I gave away the big space hogs like baby swings and bouncy chairs. But there were a few favorite onesies and specialty items I placed in a box and mentally labeled "just in case".
I planted the idea that maybe we had a little extra love to share around here...Mr. Meek looked at me as if I hit my head (and I'm still convinced he was hoping I had). A few months went by, and I couldn't shake the feeling that we were missing someone.
A few
more months went by, and I'm writing posts about a new baby.
Our little four year old's ears were burning with the idea that there "
might be a new baby". She was quick to drop hints to friends and strangers alike that she was going to need some bunk beds for her and her sister. After the third ultrasound, and our chance to hear our new little heart beating, we've let her change her story from "might" to "we're definitely gonna need a new bed set up and a mini van". She promptly announced this information to her preschool class. Imagine my surprise to all the "congratulations!" at school pick-up.
So now we're going from the tidy family of four, to a whole new territory: family of five. That third kid throws a few new logistical challenges, a
station wagon is no longer big enough (no kidding), the bedroom:child ratio has been 1:1 so far, time to do some furniture swapping and roommate pairing. That table with the four chairs? We're searching for one of those cute benches, so we can squeeze another booty in on one side. Swimming lessons, eventually will cost triple, same for karate, dance, and whatever other talent the little Meeklets choose to master.
But we have plenty of room for another, the closets will combine, our ride will change, our bank account will shrink, but our hearts are just going to burst with all the joy that is surely on the way...
...along with sleep loss, finishing touches on any maternal stretch marks, and the insurance for a minimum of two more years of bottles and diapers. When reminding ourselves of this, Mr. Meek said "you really wanna start all over?"
But honestly, I'm not ready for any of it to end.
I'll start all over, with the sleepless nights, the tiny diapers, the mushy little helpless blob that will melt into our skin and grow right before our eyes. I'll watch Annie get another baby sibling, but this time her experience will show, and I'll watch Emeline's eyes light up with wonder, a twinge of jealousy mixed with pride, as she realizes she's now a big sister too.
Before we know it, life before our third little Meeklet will seem like a distant memory, and we'll wonder what we ever did without him or her. One day we'll tell our littlest one about life before the mini van, and the older girls will tell stories of having their own rooms and closets, and then we'll tell them how wished for and loved they were, long before they arrived.
