4.14.2012

Catching up with the girls...and an accidental soap box rant....

 
Emeline's one month Cubs blanket photo (taken one day late, and posted two weeks later - and in need of some rotating, but I don't have time for that) ;)
“They” sad it would happen; your second child will not have nearly as many pictures as the first.  That’s slightly true, I still take a crap load of pictures compared to the average parent I’m sure, but I certainly don’t get them posted on this here blog five minutes later like I did the first time around.  Emeline does have far less photos alone, just the nature of being second, but that’s not so bad.  “They” also said Annie would get left in the dust for the new arrival, that part was all wrong.  If anything, I feel like I gravitate towards her even more now.  Of the two, she’s the one who can hold her head up, bring us a diaper, hold a conversation, tell a joke…tell me what in the world she's crying about...  Poor little Emeline has some catching up to do before she’s working the room quite like big sister.  Although, second child or not, when that kid squirms, burps or gurgles we all still melt as if she just walked on water.

“They” also said going from one to two was the hardest transition.  So I prepared myself for that.  I spent the entire pregnancy imagining my completely overwhelming life once I had a toddler and a newborn to care for 24/7.  Again, wrong.  With my vast parenting experience (that I just gained in the past 6 weeks) as a mother of two, I have to say, hands down, going from zero children to one was the craziest.  Nothing prepares you for life with a child, like a child.  Well, we already did that.  So when Emeline cries, I’m ready for it.  When she cries regardless of my attempts to change, burp, feed or soothe her…I’m prepared for that too.  With Annie, when she cried endlessly, I wondered what I was doing wrong, and cried right along with her.  I had ONE baby to take care of, and I cried nearly as much as she did.  Now, I have two, and I swear I haven’t shed one frustrated tear, yet.  ;)

Here’s my secret to happiness:
I have lowered my standards to below low.
My house is a wreck, dishes pile in the sink, dust bunnies are chasing the cats, weeds are growing in our garden, and the seeds we planted (as we do every year) haven’t been watered once since Annie and I planted them…3-4 weeks ago, I can’t recall, either way, that project was a failure.  Our tiny house is filling with things, things to store, things to use, things to put away…things that once would have drove me crazy.  I don’t care.  I’m not saying I’ve given up and plan to live a life of a slob.  I just know my chances for success at the things I once prided myself in staying on top of, are all now trumped by everyone around here being fed, loved, and somewhat clean. 
So that’s the goal each day:  food, beverage, moderate cleanliness for all. 
Anything else is considered overachieving.  And THAT is the secret to stay-at-home-mom-of-two happiness.

And while I’m on the topic of the ol’ stay at home mom…

The whole “mom’s who stay home don’t work” thing was in the news again recently (catch yourselves up here if you missed it:  http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Latest-News-Wires/20/0412/Obama-defends-Ann-Romney-after-Democratic-consultant-s-comment) 
This topic drives me crazy.
If I am a day care worker, if that were my “job”…that’s a JOB right?  My title would be “childcare provider” or “day care assistant” etc.
A “babysitter” earns money, caring for children.  That’s a JOB, right?
People who care for other people’s children are respected for their services, for their ability to feed, teach, soothe, and for about eight hours or more a day, raise other people’s children.  Children whose parent’s “work” – are providing the opportunity for these caregivers to WORK caring for their children.
My point is, there is a JOB that needs to be done.  People have kids, and then someone needs to take care of them until they can take care of themselves.  Whether it’s the lady at the Kiddie Coral, the neighbor, the Grandpa, the nice church day care, or the parent’s themselves…someone is filling this position.
I was a “landscape designer” for 8 years.  I had a desk, hot coffee, bathroom breaks at will, I showered every morning at the same time and put on clean clothes.  I got paid to do it (not well, but I did get paid).  When I did that, I had a “real job” and was respected amongst my peers.
Now I am a “mom”.  I get up at all hours of the night, without catching up on my sleep on the weekends (Mondays are the same as Saturdays in my new profession), I only pee when the little people let me, much less shower.  Hot coffee?  Only because we have a microwave.  I cook, feed, change, soothe, rock and read all day long.  If at all possible I try to plan days that will help my kids learn something new, meet someone different, experience something exciting…  I don’t need a bozo button, but seriously folks, I could pay someone else to do these things for me?  Or, I could take on this JOB myself.

Whew. 

I gotta stop listening to the radio – “mom’s don’t work” gets me fired up every time.  If I don’t “work”, neither does your daycare owner.  And easy with the “well I’m a mom AND I work”…are you taking your kids to work with you? (I do see this sometimes, now that’s WORK!) (Hats off to the lady at the second hand clothing shop we go to who runs her business seemingly eternally pregnant with a toddler all day long, that chick WORKS.)  Anyway, unless you’re taking your kids to work with you – you’ve got your eight hours (give or take) each day to focus on your work, not your kids and work simultaneously.
To each their own – I’m fine with that…but if one more person acts as if I “stay home” because of my love for bon-bons, or we won the lottery…puh-lease.

So, back to what I really came to blog about:
 Here are some photos I took while spending time with my kiddos. (which “they” are right…taking care of them isn’t “work” – it’s just life!)

Nothing special happening here, just an afternoon on our front porch.  Annie enjoying the outdoors and waving to people walking by, while I fed Emeline.

A visit with the cousins - Maddy, Ava & Annabelle.

When photographing kids, it usually takes 10-20 photos to get everyone looking...I should have posted the whole series :)


Emeline's non-rotated cause I'm outta time, one month photo.  Squirmy little thing she is!

I love these pictures...this one is especially great: sleeping baby (woo!) and the size reference to the "blankie giraffe" that will come in handy over the years.

Cuddling with Aunt Shannon

Annabelle asked for my glasses,put them on, and TOLD me to "take a picture mom, this is great!"

My unsocialized child (after all, we just stay at home all day alone and eat bon-bons) is seen here with her library pals playing ring around the rosie.  Her favorite! (Annie is in the pink)

Opening day at the Meek homestead!  Hot dogs for all (all who have teeth anyway).  And a big fat Cubs loss...great start boys in blue!  Grrr!

While I didn't pay this babysitter, I did have a hand watching the baby while Aunt Colleen came to stay with us.  She's going to do great, she's managing to keep the baby alive and "work" in this photo.

The Easter Bunny (or "bunny easter" as Annie calls him) brought Annie a bunny cookie Easter morning.

Grandma Meek with Emeline

Easter Annie

Easter Emeline

Annie & Grampy Fitz

Annie & Grammy Fitz

Swinging at Grandma & Grandpa Meek's House

Quality time with Great Grandpa Beeler - working on the ol' John Deere.

2 comments:

  1. My husband's cousin just had a baby. When she was pregnant she told me that she was going to work when she had the baby because she likes her job. That was probably the one I was most offended by. I loved teaching and I was good at it. My son was not an excuse to exit the workforce! People that don't stay home don't get it. Even my husband doesn't fully understand that I can't pee without having to move six cars out of the way just so I can turn around and flush the toilet! There are definitely perks to staying home, but working was a whole lot easier!

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  2. Thanks for the comment! I feel so strongly about my full time mom job (just that wording alone would get me lynched by some moms) but I'm also not one to judge. I was raised by a single working mother, so I get it...not everyone has the option to stay home. But for those families with two parent's involved, it IS possible to live on one income. We're the only people I know without cable. That's right, we have one of those old fashioned antenas on our roof and we only view free television (which isn't that great, so its an awesome win-win...free, and we never sit and stare at the box in our living room). When I tell people this, they look at me like I just said we don't have running water. I vacuum my own floors, no cleaning lady. No gym membership, no yoga classes, no lawn service...we still sleep on a tiny little double bed one of us has had since high school...and are currently living in what is essentially a one bedroom house with 4 people. I make 95% of our meals at home (yeah, boring, this is a true sacrifice ;) I could go on and on...and of course I know full time moms who don't have to make nearly these 'sacrifices' to make it work, and those who have to do much more. I felt like I had two job offers after giving birth, full time mom, or full time employee (just as I was the day before giving birth) - I chose full time mom, which was what we were leaning towards prior to Annabelle's arrival. Once she was here, there was no other option for me. I know it's personal for all and I wish everyone had more support on either side. I could "work" if I wanted to, and my kids would turn out just fine in day care I'm sure - but I don't want to guess what they did all day. I LIKE being with them, cable tv or not, small beds and small house or not, tight budgets and home cooked disasters and all. Sure there are days I long for a reason to dress up, sip a starbucks, answer my phone feeling important and all employed-like without someone in the background yelling "I talk now?! I talk to them?!" But Annie's only going to beg for my attention for so long, Emeline's head is only going to be wobbly for so long, they'll only be little for a short time. I can suffer through one more "why did the chicken cross the road?"...because next week it will be something new, and I will have been there to hear it or see it, and I personally love that more than many of those crazy perks of a double income. But I'm not about to give up my running water. If we get to that, I might have to look into an early morning paper route ;)

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