Annie lost her Great Grandma today. And oh what a GREAT Grandma she was…seems all too awkward to type “was” as we were on our way to see her just today. We were going to stop in at Great Grandma’s this afternoon, and she would have said “oh hey Robyn & Jeremy! And there’s that little Annabelle! Oh my heavens! She’s walking!” And then Annie would have opened her mouth and babbled and showed Great Grandma the words she’s learned to say: Mom, Daddy, shoe, chair, baby… And Great Grandma would have been so proud. And then Annie would have showed Great Grandma the sign language she has learned, and she would have proceeded to sign baby, eat, Grandma, bird, doggy, fish…and all the while Grandma would have told us how happy she was for us to visit, and how smart and wonderful our little Annie was.
The good news is, I can play that would have been visit in my mind a hundred times, and know that’s exactly how it would have gone. We would have put a smile on Grandma’s face – she would have put one on ours.
I miss my Grandma so much, I knew this day would come, and none of us will be here forever. I know she was ready; she’d had a wonderful, full life – with oodles of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to prove it. But, I’m not so sure I’m ready for her to be gone. I wanted her to hear Annie’s little voice today, see her toddle around, watch her proud face as she showed her Great Grandma her new tricks. I wanted Annie to know my Grandma as I did – the sandbox lovin, beach going, blueberry pickin, library book reading, kitten raising, blackjack teachin, rhubarb crisp makin, Grandma that endlessly filled pools for us on hot days, dunked us up and down in the wash tubs after a full day in the sand box on the farm. Nowhere else could I call “home” with so much freedom and fun in the outdoors completely uninhibited as I could at Grandma Fitz’s. She loved me, and all of my “dozens of cousins” as she would call us…and loved nothing more than to see us being “kids”.
I envy her spirited ways, and already miss the inspiration it gave me.
Whenever I asked her to tell me of our Grandpa who passed early, she always softened and said “he was such a wonderful man”. With as much sarcasm and wit as Grandma had, she never had anything but loving, respectful and appreciative things to say about her husband….and I guess I’ll let her skip out just as Annie is walking and talking, if I know she can finally be with that “wonderful man” again.
The good news is, I can play that would have been visit in my mind a hundred times, and know that’s exactly how it would have gone. We would have put a smile on Grandma’s face – she would have put one on ours.
I miss my Grandma so much, I knew this day would come, and none of us will be here forever. I know she was ready; she’d had a wonderful, full life – with oodles of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to prove it. But, I’m not so sure I’m ready for her to be gone. I wanted her to hear Annie’s little voice today, see her toddle around, watch her proud face as she showed her Great Grandma her new tricks. I wanted Annie to know my Grandma as I did – the sandbox lovin, beach going, blueberry pickin, library book reading, kitten raising, blackjack teachin, rhubarb crisp makin, Grandma that endlessly filled pools for us on hot days, dunked us up and down in the wash tubs after a full day in the sand box on the farm. Nowhere else could I call “home” with so much freedom and fun in the outdoors completely uninhibited as I could at Grandma Fitz’s. She loved me, and all of my “dozens of cousins” as she would call us…and loved nothing more than to see us being “kids”.
I envy her spirited ways, and already miss the inspiration it gave me.
Whenever I asked her to tell me of our Grandpa who passed early, she always softened and said “he was such a wonderful man”. With as much sarcasm and wit as Grandma had, she never had anything but loving, respectful and appreciative things to say about her husband….and I guess I’ll let her skip out just as Annie is walking and talking, if I know she can finally be with that “wonderful man” again.
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